7 Ways to Train Your Church to Love Their Neighbor in Divided Times

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1. Learn to listen to each other’s stories.

Listening well to people is one of the most powerful ways you can show love and overcome division. People rarely hate what they really understand. Most people just want to be heard, validated, and understood – not fixed or argued with. Your church can make listening a regular activity. Try hosting “story-sharing sessions” every few months. At these events, people can just share their personal life stories of how God has been working in their lives. Let people know that the goal is to inspire and encourage others in their spiritual journeys, rather than to share opinions on controversial topics, like politics. Give everyone a set time (maybe 5 to 10 minutes) to share without interruption, debate, or instant advice. This can help your church put into practice the wisdom of James 1:19: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Help the people in your congregation realize that God is at work in everyone’s lives in powerful ways and that people’s opinions often come from their personal experiences. Teach your church members that when they disagree with someone’s opinions, they should remember that the person formed those opinions from different experiences, which should be respected. By listening skills in the safe environment of your church first, members can build the skills they need to approach neighbors with totally different views without immediately judging them or getting defensive. They can get their motivation from figuring out how to win an argument with them to understanding why they think and feel like they do.

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2. Volunteer to help with community service projects together.

Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. When people in your church choose to put love into action through community service projects, they can meet their neighbors and enjoy meaningful conversations with them as everyone works toward shared goals together. Working side-by-side helps people get to know each other and appreciate what they have in common, even when they may disagree significantly about some topics. Sharing community service projects can also remind them that all believers are connected in God’s family as brothers and sisters. As Galatians 6:10 says: “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

So, reach out to other churches in your local area and plan to volunteer together on community service projects regularly. Your church and other local churches can clean up a public park, paint a school, serve meals at a homeless shelter, organize donations for a food bank, and much more. If you all partner with your area’s nonprofit groups or programs, you can make a great impact together. Be sure to warmly invite local neighbors who don’t attend your church to join in. When your church’s members help your community alongside a diverse group of people, they can build real relationships with their neighbors that can last beyond the end of various service projects.

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3. Model civil and gracious ways to talk.

The way people talk inside your church needs to be completely different from the harsh, negative rudeness that they see and hear too often in online comments or on TV news. Teach them the important differences between righteous boldness and rudeness. Church leaders must be careful to model civil and kind speech in sermons, emails, social media, and classes. Your church shouldn’t avoid tough topics, but it should teach people how to discuss them while always being respectful. That’s how your church can follow the advice in Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Give your church members specific examples of how to speak gracefully. For example, they can use “I feel” statements instead of accusing people with “you” statements. Teach people in your congregation to ask sincere, curious questions instead of making quick assumptions. Remind them to never use insulting labels, stereotypes, or personal attacks when they’re talking with people they disagree with. By modelling civil and gracious ways to talk, your church can prepare members to have difficult conversations with their neighbors from different perspectives. Show them how to approach challenging conversations to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) rather than to win arguments. 

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4. Teach the importance of prayer.

If the people in your congregation are relying only on their own limited strength, they’re bound to have trouble consistently loving their neighbors when they’re dealing with difficult relationships or challenging situations. So, it’s vital to teach them to pray for God’s strength to help. It’s also important to teach people in your church to pray regularly for their neighbors’ concerns. On a regular basis, dedicate time in worship services and small groups to pray for the people in your local community, including city and county government leaders (regardless of their political affiliation), school teachers and administrators, and first responders such as paramedics and police officers.

You can also organize prayer walks through all the different neighborhoods surrounding your church to pray for everyone who lives there, while you and others from your church walk around there. Ask God to give your neighbors peace, well-being, and hope. Pray for God to meet them wherever they are in their spiritual journeys and to inspire them to seek him more. The more you pray, the more you can overcome attitudes of indifference or judgment toward your church’s neighbors and build compassion for them instead.

In 1 Timothy 2:1-4, the Bible urges you to pray for your neighbors: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” Prayer is powerful!

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5. Encourage hospitality.

Even though our society encourages people to stick only with those who think like them, hospitality can break people out of that mindset and break down relationship walls to help them love their neighbors. Your church can move beyond just having social events for your current members. Instead, you can teach people how to open their homes to people who aren’t in their usual social circles. The Bible encourages this in Romans 12:13: “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Coach the families in your church on how to invite someone new over for dinner, such as a single parent from their children’s school or a coworker who immigrated from a different country. Avoid controversial topics right away. Focus dinner conversations on general life, family, and community interests to build rapport with the guests. Pay close attention to what guests share and look for ways to connect with them over common interests. Sharing a meal in a home is simple to do, but it can significantly break down barriers between people and build empathy and new friendships in ways that aren’t possible just by meeting in church. 

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6. Study justice and mercy together.

In order to really love their neighbor, the people in your church need to think of their relationships with others as more than just charity. They need to really care about and be committed to the well-being of other people in their community. So, talk with them about putting justice and mercy into action. Teach them how to live out the wisdom in Micah 6:8: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

On regular basis, host Bible studies or classes that explore God’s calling to care for vulnerable people, such as those who are poor and those who are marginalized in some way (such as people with disabilities, refugees, prisoners, people in drug rehab centers, people in shelters because of homelessness or domestic abuse, or senior citizens in assisted living communities or nursing homes). Your church’s Bible studies or classes could focus on Bible verses like Proverbs 31:8-9, Isaiah 61:1, or Galatians 6:2. Beyond reading and discussions, you can invite local community advocates and experts to speak. This can help your church understand the current issues facing your community, and how your congregation can best help meet your neighbors’ needs.

As you all pursue justice and mercy together, you’ll see dividing walls come down between people in your local area. 

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7. Encourage generous giving.

True neighborly love, especially in divided times when people tend to only give to those who are like them, will challenge your congregation to give their money, time, and skills generously. Teach them that they should make sacrifices to love their neighbor. Encourage your church’s members to look beyond their tithe to the church and generously support secular community organizations that help their neighbors in need, like mental health centers and food banks. The Bible points out the importance of giving as a way to express love in 1 John 3:17: “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”

Your church can also help members use their specific skills (like legal advice, tutoring, or home repair) to help local people in need, or offer help like childcare or transportation for neighbors who are struggling. Teach them that God, who loves them generously and unconditionally, wants them to love their neighbors with the same spirit of generosity, without expecting anything in return. Encourage them to express their gratitude to God by being generous themselves. 

In conclusion, your church can have a powerfully positive impact on your community when your members learn to love their neighbors as themselves. God’s love will flow through their lives and into their neighbors’ lives so powerfully that dividing walls break down, and your community will become a place of healing and hope!

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